WHEEL DANCERS IN OPPOSITIONAL COLLISIIONISM

DREAMS AND DANGER SENSES OF FANNY BLOOD.wmv

THE FARTHER ONE GOES OUT FROM ONESELF THE LESS ONE KNOWS.wmv

EMOTIONAL DESERT 6 25 09 PICTURES PERFORMANCE POETIC

MISTRUST AND HOSTILITY PTSD TRIGGERS AND RECURRENCE

DEEP IN THE TRAUMAS ARE THE ECHOIC SENSES...AS WITH 'CANCER PATIENTS'...


CHARACTERISTICS OF CANCER PATIENTS--------------------------AWARENESS OF PATTERNS OF MISTRUST AND HOSTILITY--TRANSFERRENCES FROM THE CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCE INTO ADULT RELATIONS-A PRECARIOUSNESS ESPECIALLY WHEN 'NEW' RELATIONSHIPS BREAK DOWN...
THE REEMERGENCE OF DEEP ANGST/FEARS---------THROWING THE INDIVIDUAL BACK ON HIS OR HER OWN RESOURCES......STOICAL OR WITHDRAWN...DISTANCED OR MORE AWARE OF STATES OF USEFULNESS...IN THE FACE OF RENEWED INSULTS FROM ??????????ENVIRONMENT...OTHER...EXPECTANCY...

TO FEEL 'LITTLE HOPE THAT REAL WARMTH OR SOLACE CAN BE OBTAINED FROM OTHERS............
A CLIMATE OF EXPECTANCY ZONING...FOR THE FORTRESSED IS THE 'SOLUTION' THAT IS THE PROBLEM...

THUS ONE MUST DO THE THING ONE THINKS ONE CANNOT DO...

TO CHANGE SEEMS NEVERENDING AS THE WEBBINGS OF THE IMPOSED 'CONTROLZ OF OUTCOMES' LIMIT AND REQUIRE SUPREME EFFORT ........TO MOVE 2X AS FAST JUST TO STAY ON THE TREADMILL...TO GET OFF THE TREADMILL IS THE DEATH OF MEETING EXPECTANCIES OF SELF...OTHERS............
WHERE IS THE OCEAN WATERS OF REDEMPTION   TO ALTER INERTIA AND STEP OUT OF THE DAMAGE

BODY-ENERGETIC REAL AS HER NORMAL SEXUALITY DISAPPEARED AS SHE MOANED IN DEEP SECRET CHAMBERS

IT ALMOST SOUNDED LIKE PAIN...AS SHE STRETCHED OUT ON THE EARTH, OPENED HER LEGS WIDE AS SHE COULD AND LET OUT A MOAN FROM DEEP WITHIN HER SECRET HIDDEN CHAMBER. SHE HAD ENTERED A REGION OF SEXUALITY WHERE VSHE WAS TOTALLY MALE AND, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HER LIFE KNEW THE URGE OF WANTING TO MERGE WITH A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN-SERPENT OF LIGHT-DRUNVALO MELCHIZEDEK

IMAGE FROM ERIC ROHMER FILM...

THE IDEA OF A PLATEAU OR EROS PLANE OF SHIFTINGS IN YIN-YANG INTIMACY...

THEN AS FAST AS THE EXPERIENCE SWEPT OVER HER, A NEW WAVE OF ENERGY ENTERED HER BODY AND SHE INVOLUNTARILY SWAYED HERSELF INTO ANOTHER POSITION. SHE CLUTCHED THE EARTH AND MOANED EVEN LOUDERTO FATHER SUN DIRECTLY ABOVE HER. HER SEXUALITY HAD SWUNG TO THE OPPOSITE POLE. SHE WAS ENTIRELY FEMALE NOW, WANTING TO BE PENETRATED AS DEEPLY AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE.

...EACH TIME THE ENERGY FROM THE MOTHER ENTERED HER  SHE WOULD ENTER THE OPPOSITE SEXUAL POLARITY, BUT CLOSER TO CENTER AND BALANCE UNTIL SHE KNEW THE CENTER...

'BECAUSE A MAN IDENTIFIES WITH HIS PERSONALITY, HIS ESSENCE BECOMES 'NUMB', PARALYZED AND WILL NOT DEVELOP AS HE GROWS OLDER BUT WILL REMAIN IMMATURE------

'...THOUGH HIS PERSONALITY MAY APPEAR TO BE SOPHISTICATED, FULL OF GLIB WITTICISMS AND CHARM, HIS ESSENCE IS 'INFANTILE'...
ESSENCE SUFFICIENTLY SUPPRESSED MAY DIE ENTIRELY'.........

                                                                   -GURDJIEFF

ALTERED STATES OF AVATAR, SAVANT, ORACLE, ELECTRONIC SURROGATES

'FOR THE GOD ENTERED INTO HER AND USED HER VOCAL CHORDS AS IF THEY WERE HIS OWN'...
THE DELPHIC UTTERANCES OF APOLLO ARE IN THAT FIRST PERSON, NOT THIRD PERSON...THE MEDIUMS ARE THE SIGILS, VEHICLES, 'CAR-AUTO-EROTIC' STATES OF 'REED MY LIPS' ...THE REMOTE SIGNALS...THE 'COOL FIRE' BEING HIT BY LIGHTNING....BLOCK OUT THE MEMORY OF THE MOMENT...BLOCK CRITICALNESS LIKE HYPNOTISM...
STATES OF
'AMPLIFIED USEFULNESS'...TO INCORPOATE THE NEW VOLTAGE IN THE DISCREPANCY BETWEEN FORCE AND FORM...
CORRIDORINGS OF MERIDIAN STREAMS THROUGH POINTS OF LIGHT PATTERNS...THE WELL STEIN CONTAINERINGS OF 'YIN-YANG' RANGINGS...

TO KNOW VULNERABILITY TO DISCHARGES OF SOMEONE ELSE'S TOXICITY... 'OCCULT INDIGESTION'...
TO CONTINUOSLY REINTEGRATE AS SENSORY OVERLOAD OCCURS-----A RESULT OF EXCEPTIONAL RECEPTIVITY...